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nelson mandela bay's family lifestyle
author:
theunis pienaar
an abstract of love, loss and
issue:
9, easter 2009
resilience
Nelson Mandela Bay is filled with creative individuals who are brave enough to express themselves through their art and caring enough to share the beauty they create with others. Deirdre Kohler recently came out of the closet with a splash of colour and magnificent splendour. How this came about is a riveting story of love, loss and resilience. I’ve always enjoyed art,” Deirdre explains, “but I never thought that it would be anything more than something I enjoy. At Victoria Girls we had a fabulous art teacher and the cultural aspects of schooling always seemed to attract me. Not only art and drama, but maths, science and computers as well.” Deirdre was born in Port Elizabeth, spending the first few years attending many church activities when her folks were active in spiritual work in the segregated coloured communities of the time. “My mom always says she brought us up ‘colour-blind.’” Things didn’t work out with my folks and they got divorced just before I started school. “I forged many long-term friendships at school - girlfriends who became like sisters. My parents divorced even before I started school. When I was in Sub B I discovered a very special friendship with a girl whose father was also single. Our parents fell in love and her father became my father and she became my sister. We became a six member family unit!” “When my sister Jackie was twenty five, (she'd been married barely 5 years) she died of a sudden heart attack. At the time I was overcome with the conviction that she was too young to die. We missed so much of life and yet I was grateful for what we shared. I cannot say that experience did not influence who I am at this moment in my life.” Inspired by the independence of confident role-models, Deirdre embraced the freedom of earning her own living. “My grandmother and mother were successful business women and I started working for my own income when I was thirteen. No one forced me into this, it was something I wanted to do and enjoyed doing. I've always found enjoyment in the accomplishments of work. It's never been so much about the money you earn, as it's been about applying yourself, doing something that is meaningful and looking back on a completed task, knowing you did this and added value in some way.” “Computers always fascinated me. The wonder of being able to exceed expectations and do what others only imagined – this intrigued me, still does. On weekends and during holidays I worked at Factory Fashions, a clothing retailer. I was supposed to work on the floor, but always gravitated to the office where they were struggling to capture stock data on what was then the latest in computer technologies. I had such a natural understanding of the technology, eventually the owner just asked me to take over the task. After finishing school I spent four months studying computer science, but was frustrated by the limitations of the academic world. Eventually I taught myself and started a website company, creating websites that were more than online brochures, attempting to stretch boundaries of interactive ability.” Five years down the line, looking for more challenging opportunities Deirdre ventured into consulting as a business analyst and project manager, working mainly in managing data and communications. “My life was like the lives of many. I worked hard, married, had children and divorced. Then we met James and our lives became special. We discovered friendship which is unconditional and love that accepts completely - relationships that see more in you than anyone else ever saw.” “For the first time in a long time our lives were full and complete. Then I fell pregnant and what was supposed to be a time of exhilarating expectation, became a time of concern and fear.” Deirdre was diagnosed with a benign brain tumour. “Looking back, I had symptoms for probably four years. Headaches, fainting, forgetfulness – these were indicators that should have warned us earlier, but somehow we never picked-up on it.” It was this illness that triggered Deirdre's return to a first love of art. “We had just moved into a new house and the walls were bare. James suggested I use art as an outlet and I liked the idea of putting my own art on the walls of our home. I started painting and created a first hesitant abstract. One painting gave way to another and eventually they were all over the house. I didn't think they were that special, but friends and family loved them. One day James, consistently believing I am more than I would ever think, loaded the whole lot into the car and took me to Heidi Kuhne's gallery. Heidi loved my work, which convinced me, since she had no reason to patronise me. She suggested I do a few more and when there were enough pieces, she hosted a solo exhibition for me. I was a magnificent success.” and that was just after three brain operations!” My hair had just started to grow again!” Deirdre's second exhibition will take place during 2009, but her dream is to be commissioned by a decorator. “The large pieces are the best. I enjoy creating them the most. Of course abstracts aren't everyone's cup of tea,” she humbly adds. Yes I do have a theme! I enjoy expressing my theme using colour. Despite the cancer and the time she now invests in creating abstract paintings, Deirdre is also working on a project to create interactive online maps, which should bring South Africa up to standard with the world. “I am still the same person. I would be dishonest if I said the tumour has not affected me. Although I don’t think the tumour has changed the way I look at life, I do believe that we should live more in the moment and start to balance our life better. I have also discovered the importance of being “real.” I have learnt that we need to be honest about our life and our experiences. This allows us to connect with others and it takes the burden off us. I am concerned for James and our three children. Sometimes I feel through my illness I am letting them down. It has not altered who I am, perhaps it has refined who I am - almost as if I see life clearer. You can't pretend when you are where we are now.” We walk down to Deirdre's studio in silence, she shows me the pieces she is working on for her next exhibition. Large pieces. Colourful and filled with emotion and meaning. “We need to ask ourselves what the cost is and spend our time on things that are worth the cost,” Deirdre explains as she greets me before I drive away from an inspiring abstract artist who knows life in a way I still need to discover.
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