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nelson mandela bay's family lifestyle
author:
theunis pienaar
tenacity
issue:
7, spring 2008
- determined, obstinacy and/or persistence tending to stick firmly to any decision without changing or doubting it. Sometimes someone would say something and the meaning of what has been said would be completely veiled - only to occur to you much later, long after that person has disappeared from your life - and too late for you to express any gratitude. “You have the tenacity of a bull-dog and the concupiscence of a rabbit.” When, halfway through high school, my Latin teacher said this to me. I had not the slightest inkling what he meant. Nor did I realize he was paying me a great compliment, while explaining a basic principle of emotional well-being and success. Perhaps Mr. Kromhout had none of that in mind. Maybe he was merely attempting to illustrate the value of having a proper grounding in Latin grammar – that it is vital to understanding and applying most modern languages. I would want to believe though, and please be kind enough to leave me happy in this illusion, that he did want to comment on my character, or rather my nature, intending to reinforce these attributes, knowing that others would want to suffocate them - and that I would be much the poorer should that happen. Granted, a bulldog and a rabbit may not be the most flattering of metaphors. Most of us would want to be compared to an eagle or a lion, or if you are the peace-loving kind, a dolphin or a dove. At the time I did not feel complimented either, but now that I understand, I am humbled by his kindness. The metaphor is perfect. Have you ever seen a bulldog grab hold of something and not let go until victory has been obtained? The embodiment of tenacity and to display such tenacity, you need to be a bit single-minded, ignoring everything around you, chasing exactly what you want. I remember proposing to Zuko at Sardinia Bay. I was only twenty-three years of age, a full-time student living off whatever income could be generated through part-time employment, with four more years of very expensive education ahead of me. Every single person who knew of my intentions went the extra mile to discourage me – to convince me that I am biting off more than I can chew. Had I succumbed to this well intended logic of well-meaning individuals, life would have been different, poorer. When we bought our first property, interest rates were 7 points higher than the current rate and no bank was willing to give me anything below prime. Friends and family believed we were going in over our heads – that we were taking risks beyond our means and that we were setting ourselves up for the greatest financial failure of our young lives. Had I listened to these people, who had only our best interest at heart, we would have missed out on a fantastic opportunity and would not be living the magnificent life we have, overlooking the ocean, enjoying nature and our horses on the outskirts of this city. Often times, people advise from their own position of fear and when we adhere to their arguments, our lives are diverted in a different direction – a direction not of our own preference. These people see the future only in terms of risk and continuously recall the failures of their own past – failures beyond which they have never come - allowing those failures not only to define their own futures, but attempting to superimpose its doom on your life as well. This is not to say that the tenacious do not fail. Probably, the tenacious fail more often than anyone else, exactly because they are tenacious, but the tenacious is seldom discouraged by failure, since they understand failure as having a different meaning. To them failure does not spell “end” or“incapable” or even “impossible”. In their ear, the whisper of failure Is, “nothing good comes easy” and “there will be another way”. My own tenacity, I think, is born of the value I place on whatever it is I choose - on my passionate desire to bring to reality what I've seen in my heart. At one stage Zuko and I came to a dead-end in our relationship. We had three children in diapers, impossible financial demands, simultaneously we both experienced professional and personal disappointments, with our emotional brokenness preventing us from carrying each other across. Did we not place a high value on our relationship, despite the fact that it seemed to be at a dead-end, we would have called it quits, becoming just another statistic. There are a few instances where we did call it quits, realizing we are wasting precious time and energy on something that is not as valuable as we initially perceived it to be. Something that will not take us forward on the route we have bravely mapped. In a sense, this too is tenacity, correcting our course as we go along, maintaining movement towards that which is precious. To be able to be truly tenacious you must clearly know who it is you want to be and what it is you want to achieve, not only materially, but also relationally, spiritually and emotionally. Interest rates will rise and fall. Next year fuel and food will be more expensive than last year. Circumstances will never be ideal. People will always be imperfect, disappointing and hurtful - and those individuals, who are eager and ready to point this out, injecting the poison of fear into the veins of your soul, will be ever present. Being the bulldog-rabbit cross-breed my Latin teacher recognized, has contributed much to my well-being and has enabled me to go on long enough, so that I could touch that which is precious to me, even if only for single sweet moments. In this life that is enough.
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