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nelson mandela bay's family lifestyle
author:
theunis pienaar
eccentricity
issue:
6, winter 2008
Eccentricity - a quality of being unconventional, especially in a whimsical way Synonyms - oddness, peculiarity Eccentricity is one of those characteristics that seem glamorous when you read Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's stories of Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson – but when you are living it, the experience could be harsh, unless you embrace it. In astronomy the term “eccentricity” is used to describe “the deviation of the path of an orbiting body from a true circle.” In other words – you would expect the heavenly body to follow the path of a true circle, but it ends up doing something unexpected - something different. Eccentrics are pretty much the same – they are people who do not conform to what is deemed “conventional”. Now that could be an entire article all by itself – what is “conventional, after all? But let's not get side-tracked in philosophical orbiting. The realization I am sharing with you is that most people are eccentrics. If you deny your eccentricity, you are always going to be uncomfortable. If you embrace it, joy will follow. The 28 year old divorcee who marries a 45 year old bachelor is an eccentric. Is that not what the definition explains - “a quality of being unconventional.” It is, after all, conventional or accepted for a girl to marry a man her own age. So then she must be an eccentric to make such an unconventional choice. The Afrikaans “white” family who adopts a Xhosa orphan – pretty eccentric! The mother who chooses not to pursue an “8 – 5 career”, but rather staying at home and becoming the teacher of her children, “homeschooling” or “unschooling” them - eccentricity by definition. I know I am talking about my own eccentricity – I just find solace in showing off some other eccentrics I have met right here in Nelson Mandela Bay, so bear with me as I share these thoughts, I am quite aware that they are a bit eccentric. I grew up with this feeling of being a square peg in a round hole. My father would say I acted as if I got the hind teat – in fact he often said that whenever I would do or choose something that did not make sense to their comprehension of acceptable. Please, this is no reflection on my family or even a comment on “difficult childhood years.” I was a happy child and my parents gave me more than most parents could – I still love them dearly, not despite, but because of their own eccentricity. I am also not trying to convince anyone that life should be lived without boundaries – you would often find eccentrics live within much better defined boundaries that has been carefully thought through and consistently applied. To me eccentricity is something beautiful and exciting. It testifies to the infinite potential of human beings to think and be and explore. What fascinates me is that people are intensely attracted to characters like Agatha Christie's Hercule Poirot and the modern day lady Croft of Tomb Raider fame, enjoying their eccentricity, but when confronted with the eccentricity of a neighbor or friend, or family member, they struggle to deal with it. They rush away from it as quickly as possible, rather than enjoying it just as much as the eccentricity of Doyle's and Christie's fictional characters. Since I can remember I could not just “do” something – I had to understand why I was doing it – the purpose of the action. This often resulted in me making choices that were not acceptable, like proposing to my friend's girlfriend, marrying her 6 months later and enjoying the most wonderful intimacy for the past thirteen years. Believe me that was a bit of eccentricity very few people could come to terms with or make sense of. For a long time I experienced this undeniable impulse to “understand” what I choose and do, as a curse – something terrible without which life would be much simpler. From time-to-time I would even try to ignore it and make a decision in denial of all the “understanding” that overshadowed the situation, choosing what would be acceptable to those with whom I share life. It never lasts, though – “the curse” would always draw me back to where my “understanding” guided me and the result would be fantastic – I would end up in a place I never imagined, full of blessing, enjoyment and satisfaction. So it is a “curse” no more – this eccentricity of mine, for I have seen its benefit. A life lived on purpose and not dragged along by other's expectations and conformity. And a life lived on purpose is a life filled with meaning.
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